By questioning everything, you can reset, renew and refresh.
The past 12-16 months have brought about some of the greatest disruption in our lifetimes, and this creates the perfect conditions for change, reinvention and new beginnings. These are circumstances which can inspire us to think in new ways and challenge individual and community belief systems so we can harness unexpected opportunities and improve.
Ancient Greek wisdom from Euripides is right: You should question everything. In modern times, we’ve updated this advice to “assume nothing and question everything.” Questioning your previous assumptions may be uncomfortable at first, but the process reaps significant benefits—for your career, for your future and for your community. Through challenging what you think you know, you can create happiness and fulfillment.
Now is indeed the time to embrace your inner devil’s advocate and ask all the right questions about all the important things. Asking plenty of questions can help you in many ways—from growing your career and yourself to improving your contributions and your relationships.
Growth, Contribution and Decision Making
Growth and development. One of the hallmarks of wisdom (no matter what your age), is realizing how much you don’t know. When you ask questions, you pave the way for your own growth and development. The Dunning-Kruger effect is a cognitive bias in which you tend to think you know more than you do. When you have a little knowledge of something, you don’t know what you don’t know. You can overestimate your abilities. A better approach is to assume you don’t have all the answers. You may assume you know what someone else’s experience is, but you can benefit by actually asking them about what they’ve been going through. By asking questions, you can enhance your understanding, and discover and learn more about where you need to grow.
Expanded contribution. There are three types of curiosity: Diversive curiosity is the urge to learn tons of information about a wide range of things, but at a superficial level. Empathetic curiosity is the desire to learn about another person and epistemic curiosity is the desire to learn more about a particular field or topic with depth and focus. Epistemic curiosity is especially helpful in driving us in new directions and motivating our engagement. When we learn about a new area, it can inspire us to try something new or think in unexpected ways. For example, you may think you are expert at your job as a project manager, but by learning more about a key topic—say, conflict management—you may discover how you can contribute in other ways such as helping people navigate disagreement and compromise to accomplish more.
Better decisions. The best decisions are informed by plenty of facts, data and insights. By definition, when you ask more questions, you’ll be able to generate better potential alternatives and choose among them. Perhaps you want to get a new job. When you know the field a little, it will guide you where to look, but if you ask more questions about the future of the profession, you can discern more opportunities. As famous hockey great Wayne Gretzky said, “You can skate to where the puck will be, instead of where it is.”
Relationships, Fulfillment and Character
Stronger relationships. When you ask more questions, you learn more about topics, but you also learn more about the people around you—their values, beliefs, priorities and expertise. When you discover more about others, you deepen relationships and can appreciate more about them. Even if you disagree on a viewpoint, you continue to build your relationship, and relationships are good for happiness. Joy isn’t based on the number of connections you have, but on their quality. Asking questions increases the quality of your relationships because by learning more about others you signal you care and want to invest in them. This has a reinforcing effect, leading them to invest in you as well.
Greater fulfillment. Awe is the sense of being a small part of something greater than yourself. Studies on happiness demonstrate the more you have moments of awe, the more you will feel joyful, content and fulfilled. Asking questions is related: the more you ask, the more you learn and the more you appreciate what is beyond you. As the saying goes, “The larger the island of knowledge, the longer the shoreline of wonder.” Asking questions helps you uncover all that is beyond you, and this provides prospective and greater happiness.
Expanded humility. Arrogance shuts down relationships, and people avoid those who are over-confident or self-aggrandizing. On the other hand, when you are more humble, you can be a magnet for others. Asking questions assumes you don’t have all the answers and demonstrates you are open to new ideas, learning and perspectives. This mindset is evidence of strong character and contributes to connections where you’ll be valued and appreciated for your willingness to learn from others.
How To Question
As you’re questioning everything, you’ll want to keep these tips in mind:
- Question yourself. Be sure to challenge your own thinking. Some values are set, but some of your thinking may benefit from a bit of push back. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is an approach to talk therapy which provides a good example: When people struggle with depression or anxiety and are encouraged to think about their potentially distorted thought processes, they experience an improvement in their mental health. Your belief systems may not always be correct, and your ideas can be slanted or intensified by emotions or triggers. So, it’s constructive to reflect on your thinking and challenge your beliefs now and then to ensure you’re open to new possibilities.
- Question others. When you question others, they’ll be most open to your positive prodding when they know you value them as a person. Ask questions about topics, ideas and facts, and ensure people know you’re not questioning their personal value. When people know you care about them, you’ll be able to have a more lively debate in which you can challenge and learn deeply.
- Question information. With huge numbers of outlets and sources from which we get information, you’ll want to question everything. As news comes into your feed, pay attention to the source and beliefs of those reporting it. If you see a study, consider its size, whether it is truly representative, and the agenda of those sharing it. When you’re exposed to a new post, think twice about where it’s coming from and why it’s being shared. When you’re discerning and ask plenty of questions, you can be sure you’re thinking for yourself and making your best judgements.
In Sum
Now is the time to begin again and reinvent ourselves, our work and (maybe even) our lives. By challenging your assumptions and questioning everything, you have the opportunity to create happiness and fulfillment, to be your best self and create your renewed future.
